The blind badger panic

July 21,

Another funny story involved a blind badger and a gaggle of geese
(office staff).

It came to my attention that we had a baby badger
walking up and down the verge of the driveway. Apart from being blind, there
seemed to be little wrong with it. As we had no warden at the time (see other
stories ) I contacted the badger people and asked for some advice. I was told to
leave it alone unless something looks wrong with it. So this I did.


For days we would watch it walk up and down the drive way on the verges. Some
had some concerns about the busy road, but why should we interfere with nature
if it’s doing all right by itself. My motto is, if it’s still working don’t mend


After about ten days of watching it
off and on, and watching the gardeners cut the grass around it (see photo ) as I
was leaving the estate one evening I came across a blockade of cars parked
across the road. On looking at why they were parked there, I soon realised the
management had noticed the badger happily wandering about his business on the

Being in a hurray to sort out a
walling course I was leading in the morning – in my own time – and voluntary for
another National Trust property, I bypassed the cars by driving on the grass.
This is where I encountered one of the biggest know all managers frantically
waving her arms for me to stop.

We shall call her Ms Greengrass,
who preceded to rant and rave about me breaking the blockade and putting a
badger’s life in jeopardy. This was a final straw for me to have a pen pushing
know-it-all tell me that she had just discovered this badger in danger and I
could have killed it.

First off, I don’t think she liked
me laughing at the situation, and as I explained that all was in hand, there was
no need to over react, and to leave it alone.

This was probably her first
encounter with wildlife, apart from watching sparrows out of the office window.
But, milk the situation she was. This was going to be one of her finest

On the way out, I mentioned to a
neighbour that maybe his young son would like to see the badger, just keep the
dog on a lead and don’t get to near. So with a wave I left him to walk the 100
yards up the drive way.

The following day I was called to
HQ by the Fuhrer. I was accused of disobeying a direct command by a senior
manager and putting the life of a badger at risk. I had done this by calling in
men with dogs, and the last thing, driving on the grass.

To the first accusation I claimed I
thought I was witnessing another member of staff having some sort of breakdown
due to the way she was waving her hands. To The badger, I told her the story of
events and claimed is was a bunch of stupid women with nothing better to do
apart from listen the ravings of a lunatic

”And why were you driving on the
road way when there was staff there?” I was asked. When I said I didn’t want to
hit the badger she didn’t exactly fall around laughing.

Then she snapped. Apparently I had
no right to invite people onto the estate to which I pointed out how difficult
this would be for people to get to my house.

At this she blurted: ”Not those
visitors, the other visitors, the ones that shouldn’t be here.” But, if I’ve
invited them aren’t they my visitors? I puzzled. No it’s not those visitors I’m
talking about? She spluttered. Then what visitors are you referring to? I
queried. “The ones that aren’t visitors that you invited”

It was on the tip of my tongue to
ask if I could Google her planet, in the way we could Google Earth but I thought
better of it and decided to keep that remark in reserve for another

The badger went on to dig a set in
the controversial place that the car park was to go, poetic justice if you ask
me, even the wildlife was on our side. And it used to crap near the offices.