Terrrrrifids or what


Something strange and slightly
disturbing has happened at Tyntesfield.

It’s come to our attention that
there may be a strange fungal growth in the vegetable gardens. Something so
bizarre in fact, it’s the stuff of sci fi.

Our roving reporter took this
picture as a strange circle of crops has grown in the very place that once sited
the yurt.



We have not had the opportunity to
examine or analyse the actual growth matter, but we are concerned it may be some
sort of Mongolian plant life that has generated from the spores cultivated by
the great yurt itself.

One theory is that the yurt is in
the process of regenerating itself. Evidently, the same thing happened at a
location in Devon. The whole area was sealed off after the estate staff were
reported to be in a zombie like state. We are led to believe the area is still
sealed off while government officials investigate the Joseph

There are several noticeable
symptoms that can identify contamination:
Staff acting strangely and dressing
in strange attire.
Wearing of rose coloured glasses.
Huddling in groups in
small rooms for hours at a time.

Once the virus has finally matured,
the host becomes almost vegetable, unable to use rational thought and

In the final stages of
contamination, there is very little hope of ever maintaining a normal life and
the position of National Trust manager follows soon after.